Post pregnancy sex should come with a guidebook.
I hope your sex life to date has given you a great deal of pleasure + you’re might actually be pretty proud of your repertoire… but ‘after-the-baby’ launches a new sexual era.
And the chances are you’ll need to go back to basics for a while.
For the first six weeks, until your doctor gives you a postnatal check-up (although I seem to remember that being a somewhat pointless process, don’t know if yours was any more productive?), full sex is best replaced by kissing and cuddling. That’s probably just fine with you, because having a baby pass through your lady bits can make you feel like you had a stick of dynamite go off in your knickers.
Your ‘normal’ sex life isn’t going to reappear any time soon. Your delicate vaginal tissues are strained, bruised and torn and these injuries take weeks to heal. Your hormones are rocking you with an emotional earthquake, complete with after shocks that have your moods swinging high and low!
At least you have your boobs, right? Notsomuch. They are now painful, veiny orbs, stretched to the max, firing off jets of milk at anyone that dares to touch them. Humph! It’s nature’s way of stamping your breasts as ‘property of the baby’!
To be honest, you won’t be feeling like IT. Your bundle of joy is absorbing your every waking thought. And there are fewer of those to go around, since you decided to cut back on all that time-wasting sleeping you used to do!
Don’t get me wrong, you’re loving it: your partner, your new baby and the new family you make together… all of it. You’re just not loving IT.
But that time will come again. In the midst of new motherhood, it might feel like that overstretched body of yours will never ping back into shape, or tingle to the touch, or bend into any of the inventive positions you used to enjoy in sex play… but post pregnancy sex will be fun again! Promise.
But for now, concentrate on you, on healing and strengthening yourself physically and emotionally… on cherishing love, if not yet passion. Don’t rush your body. That birth thing was HARD. Your body needs time. Be nice to yourself.
How long will it take? That’s personal to you. You’ll get there when you’re good and ready.
Will sex after childbirth ever feel the same? Perhaps not exactly the same. It might even be better. And it will feel good. Will you love your body and feel sexy once more? Yes, definitely! You can restore your body confidence after childbirth, but it takes, time, effort and the right exercises.
So relax about post pregnancy sex… the truth is most women who have given birth have their priorities right: cuppas, naps, cuddles… that’s where they’re at!
Do you have feelings or symptoms *down there* you’re not sure about? Something not feel quite right? Check out this post on What’s Normal and What Isn’t For Your Post Pregnancy Body