I hope you have had an amazing month and Happy late Mother’s Day and Military spouse appreciation day!! I hope you were all spoiled rotten and felt so appreciated on your special days! Mom-ing is so SO hard and can you believe that they only give us one day out of the entire year to be celebrated? Whoever came up with that probably doesn’t have children yet 😉
For real though I hope that you were able to spend your day doing whatever it was that made YOU happy!
Being a mom has so many challenges and I know all too well what it’s like to lose your sense of identity and to put yourself last over and over again. That mom guilt creeps in anytime you even think of doing something for you and I get it! So today I want to share with you a little bit about my journey to finding ME again and how I handle those feelings of mom guilt because you wouldn’t believe the amount of guilt I have since I have started to work outside of the home.
I’m learning every single day to be gentle and more kind to myself through this journey!
First I want to say that you do you, mama! No matter what you do there will always be someone standing their just waiting to judge you! You can’t make everyone happy and that’s actually what I want you to stop trying to do! Who cares about making others happy! No one knows your story and why you do the things you do! As long as you know in your heart what you are doing works for you then keep doing exactly that! I always go with my gut and that damn thing is always right! For years I didn’t listen to it and I would sometimes feel sick to my stomach about the choices I had made. In the end, it was always about pleasing everyone else and being afraid I would be judged or upset someone. Then one day I started listening to my gut and I can’t even explain to you how good that makes me feel! I do what works for me and my family and I am here to make them happy and no one else! Mama your body talks to you all the time, you just have to listen to it! Your gut will guide you all day long if you let it!
I want you to repeat after me…momME.
Yes, you are a mom but you still need to be “me” too!
If it wasn’t for you and who YOU are, you wouldn’t be the mom you are today!
So stop putting yourself at the bottom of the list, I want to see you at the top!
This is the beauty of putting yourself first.
When you take care of your needs first it allows you to be a better mom and wife, and a better friend too! So call your girlfriend right now and plan a date just for you and her!
Pick up the phone and make that appointment to get your hair and nails done.
Or just go to the coffee shop and sit and enjoy the peace and quiet! You deserve it more than you will ever know!
It can be hard to balance
I get the struggle of being a mom and also being a military spouse. This is one of my biggest challenges in the guilt arena. I thought for years that because my husband was always gone and I saw how hard that was on our girls… how could I possibly ever leave? So for years I literally did nothing for me, ever! Hell, I barely went on dates with my husband. My girls knew when Daddy left sometimes he didn’t come home for a long time. I never wanted to leave and have my girls wonder when I would come back home! I have always been the only constant thing in my girls life, and I never took that role lightly. But in the end, I struggled because I was exhausted in every area of my life because I had put so much pressure on myself! I did that to myself Y’all! This is why I want you to stop caring what others will think and just do what is best for you!
It’s a challenge for sure but I promise you that not only do you need that time but you deserve it too!
So this is what I did to make ME a priority!
I went to back to school, I found something that I wanted to do and something that made ME happy! I did it all for me!
I learned how to ask for help. I learned and am still working on not feeling guilty to go to work and out with my girlfriends! I am seeing an entirely new view of things from another side. You know what mama’s my girl are so proud of me and what I am doing! They tell me they are proud of me and they are my biggest cheerleaders. I am showing my girls and teaching them so many things along the way by following my dream! I am showing them that life isn’t always easy, it’s ok to cry and what it looks like to live in a house that is a complete disaster. Because since I have started working things are really messy, but everyone is still surviving! There are so many things I have had to let go of since becoming a working mom. But you see I am important and so is my mission in life!
I am teaching my girls that anything is possible and your mind is the most powerful tool you will ever have! I am proud of ME, and that didn’t use to be an easy thing for me to say about myself!
So join me
Take a leap or a risk today and start doing something for you. Something that you have always dreamed of doing, the only person holding you back is yourself!
I’m on a mission to empower women through body confidence and so much more! I’m a mission to share my story in hopes that it will give the woman on the other side of the screen the courage to go all in! The courage to put yourself first and do that thing you always wanted to do! I’m on a mission to show my girls that anything is possible even when it seems like everything is working against you! I’m on a mission to raise strong and confident girls who know they can do whatever their big hearts dream of. Whether that is being a stay at home mom or CEO of their own company. That’s why I will continue to do what I do and do ME along with all of the mom things too!
Support each other
So momME, let’s rally up the forces of this women tribe and support one another on this crazy journey.
I don’t care what you do or why you’re doing it! As long as it works for YOU and your family then that is all that matters! We are military spouses who come from all over the world and all walks of life! Let’s start learning from one another and accepting what we as moms do simply because it works for us! A smile can change a person’s entire day! So the next time you see a mom who is being a ME and doing her thing don’t judge just smile!
Also know that we are all struggling in this journey, even the ones who appear as if they have it all together on the outside! Speak up ladies, talk about the good times and the bad.
This is a hard journey and should never be done alone!
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