I hope your sex life to date has given you a great deal of pleasure and you might actually be pretty proud of your repertoire… but ‘after-the-baby’ launches a new sexual era.

And the chances are you’ll need to go back to basics for a while.

For the first six weeks, until your doctor gives you a postnatal check-up (although I seem to remember that being a somewhat pointless process, don’t know if yours was any more productive?), full sex is best replaced by kissing and cuddling. That’s probably just fine with you, because having a baby pass through your lady bits makes us a little tender for a while… Your delicate vaginal tissues are strained, possibly bruised or torn and these injuries take weeks to heal. Your hormones are rocking you with an emotional earthquake, complete with after-shocks that have your moods swinging high and low.

Your breasts are now painful, veiny orbs, stretched to the max, firing off jets of milk at anyone that dares to touch them.

To be honest, you won’t be feeling like IT. Your bundle of joy is absorbing your every waking thought.

Part of you is loving it all: your partner, your new baby and the new family you make together… all of it. You’re just not loving IT.

But that time will come again. In the midst of new motherhood, it might feel like that overstretched body of yours will never ping back into shape, or tingle to the touch, or bend into any of the inventive positions you used to enjoy in sex play… but post pregnancy sex will be fun again! Promise.

But for now, concentrate on you, on healing and strengthening yourself physically and emotionally… on cherishing love, if not yet passion. Don’t rush your body. That birth thing was HARD. Your body needs time. Be nice to yourself.

How long will it take? That’s personal to you. You’ll get there when you’re good and ready.

Will sex after childbirth ever feel the same? It might feel different. It might even be better. And it will feel good. Will you love your body and feel sexy once more? Yes, definitely! You can restore your body confidence after childbirth, but it takes, time, effort and the right exercises.

So relax about post pregnancy sex… the truth is most women who have given birth have their priorities right: tea, sleep, cuddles.

Do you have feelings or symptoms you’re not sure about? Something not feel quite right?
Check out this post on What’s Normal and What Isn’t For Your Post Pregnancy Body