Women (Mothers) and their relationship with their bodies is not just about how they look.
People often assume that all this ‘‘Flatten your tummy, strengthen your core, get strong, get healthy” business is about looking good in a swimsuit, looking sexy in jeans, a flat tummy, smaller thighs with no dimples, or toned upper arms. It’s all just ‘yummy mummy’ superficial stuff and a bit silly. We should get over ourselves and get on with with our lives.
But if you could see my inbox most days, you might be surprised at what women write to me. I am flattered and humbled by it. Sure, you write to me because you want your stomach to be flatter, your butt to be perkier, your arms to be toned-er (no its not a word, but I like it)…
Hey we all want that stuff – we’re allowed to be a bit superficial.
But I’d like to suggest to you that you’re deeper than you think you are. Because what you actually write to me is this:
“I want to feel sexy again”
“I want to feel good about myself”
“I want to have fun with my kids without getting tired”
“I want to accept myself as I am”
“I just want everything *down there* to work, and to feel like it used to”
“I want my partner to find me attractive”
“I don’t want to feel fat and frumpy”
These are your words, not mine, and every single one is about how you feel, not how you look.
Sure you talk about the aesthetics too – but believe me – these are the emotions that dominate.
So if you ever wander into that mindset of thinking that to take care of your body and your emotional + physical well-being is somehow shallow or vain or not important, please think again. You have every right to feel good about yourself. EVERY RIGHT.
Wetting yourself when you laugh or sneeze, not wanting to look at your naked self or to have sex with your partner, not feeling confident to walk into a room knowing you are at least a little bit fabulous and vital and interesting… this is not superficial. It’s absolutely fundamental to your happiness.
And your partner, your children, your friends, family or your boss – all those people that place demands on you and that require looking after and pleasing and loving (well, your boss doesn’t need loving especially, but you get the drift) – every one of them will benefit too from your self confidence, your strength, your Calm and your happiness. So it’s not remotely selfish either! That’s another one I hear a lot – that it is too self indulgent or even selfish to put your own health and wellbeing to the top of the list sometimes. All those people need you Lady – and you’re a lot more use to them strong, fit, healthy and HAPPY.
This desire, this need, to put ourselves back together again – inside and out – is not superficial or vain. It’s really very important.
*Thanks to Jay Mountford for the lovely photo of me and my girl at her incredible Rock the Frock photo shoot – the ultimate in ‘feel good’ and my 40th birthday present to myself! Just because.