I hope your sex life to date has given you a great deal of pleasure because as women we deserve all the pleasures life has to offer us! Post pregnancy sex absolutely being included in those offerings.
While pregnancy, child birth, and parenting can shift the dynamic, especially in those early months, there isn’t any reason why you should not still have utterly fulfilling intimacy and amazing post pregnancy sex.
For the first six weeks, chances are you’ll need to go back to basics for a while. Until your doctor gives you a postnatal check-up, full sex is recommended to be replaced by other forms of intimacy such as kissing, cuddling, and other ways you can feel connected to yourself and to your partner.
After giving birth your delicate vaginal tissues are strained, possibly bruised or torn and these injuries take weeks to heal. If you had a caesarean birth you have had major abdominal surgery and your incision needs to heal. Breasts are often painful as milk supply starts to come in and lack of sleep really messes with your head!
In addition to the physical recovery, hormones are are rocking you with an emotional earthquake, complete with after-shocks that have your moods swinging high and low.
So if you are not feeling sexy or wanting to be physically intimate, that is totally normal! If you find yourself still in the mood despite everything, well you go mama!
Here are some ways you can nurture yourself both physically and emotionally as well as nurture your relationship with your partner during the whirlwind of postpartum:
-When you feel ready postpartum (can be in the early days if wanted) begin reconnecting to your pelvic floor through mind to muscle connection and breath work. No matter what kind of birth you had, your pelvic floor muscles have been through a lot. A hypertonic (too-tight) pelvic floor can cause pain during intercourse so getting yourself reconnected with releasing those muscles, as well as properly recruiting them, will really help. Not sure where to start with your breath work? Don’t stress, your MUTU breath and MUTU core has you covered!
-Have open and honest conversations with your partner (and with yourself!) about what each of your needs are during this time. Find ways to come together that you both feel good with, to keep your connection and intimacy (doesn’t need to be physical!) alive. Being in tune with one another will just help you both feel better during the long nights and adjustments that come with that beautiful new baby. Lean on and support one another.
-When you do get the all clear from your physician to resume activities (post pregnancy sex included) don’t feel that you HAVE to. You don’t have to do anything you are not ready for. Wait until you are ready, physically and emotionally. Communicate this with your partner.
-When you do feel ready, have extra lubrication on hand. Postpartum hormones can affect natural lubrication.
-Go slow, ensure your body is ready for penetration to limit pain and speak up if there is any pain or discomfort. Again, this goes for physical pain and/or emotional pain.
Remember, sex should be empowering, fun, and pleasurable for YOU. The moment it isn’t, slow down or stop.
Do you have feelings or symptoms you’re not sure about? Something not feel quite right?
Check out this post on What’s Normal and What Isn’t For Your Post Pregnancy Body